Before You Say Yes: Why It’s Okay to Be Selective

When you’re just starting out as a Virtual Assistant, every inquiry feels like a blessing. A client wants to hop on a call? Your heart races. They say they need help ASAP? You’re already drafting the proposal. But with time (and a few battle scars), you realize something important:

Not every client is a good fit.

In fact, some clients can drain your energy, test your boundaries, and leave you questioning why you started this business in the first place. The good news? Most of the time, the warning signs are there—you just have to know how to spot them.

Let me walk you through the five biggest red flags I’ve learned to recognize (and avoid), plus the subtle cues that help me decide when to say “thanks, but no thanks.”

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Red Flag #1: Vague Communication and No Clear Goals

You know the type. Their initial message is full of enthusiasm but zero clarity. “I just need help with a bit of everything.”
Everything… like what?

🚩 They can’t define what success looks like.
🚩 They use terms like “ninja,” “unicorn,” or “rockstar” without defining actual tasks.
🚩 Their expectations are scattered: “Just someone to help me stay organized and grow my brand and maybe do social media and maybe also sales?”

Why this is a problem:
Without clarity, you’ll constantly be guessing. Guessing leads to scope creep. Scope creep leads to burnout. And burnout leads to wondering why you’re still charging €25 an hour for work that makes you hate your laptop.

Better Match move:
When I see vague descriptions, I gently push back:

“Could you share a breakdown of the top 3 priorities you’d like support with? That helps me evaluate whether I’m the right fit.”

If they still can’t explain what they need, run. Or charge double. Just kidding. Kind of.

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Red Flag #2: The “ASAP” Energy

Look, we all work under deadlines. But if a potential client starts your relationship with a sense of constant urgency, it’s usually not just this one project—it’s their whole vibe.

🚩 They want to skip onboarding.
🚩 They push for a rushed timeline without understanding your availability.
🚩 They say things like “I needed this yesterday” in the first email.

Why this is a problem:
You’ll spend your entire contract reacting to their chaos. Your calendar? Doesn’t matter. Your other clients? Who cares. These clients live in panic mode, and they’ll pull you into it unless you set strong boundaries.

Better Match move:
Try something like:

“Thanks for sharing the timeline! I’d love to support you. My current availability allows for a start date on [X]. Would that work for you?”

If they ghost you or say, “That’s too late,” it’s probably for the best.

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Red Flag #3: Past VA Trauma… with No Self-Awareness

Ah yes. The “I’ve worked with five VAs and none of them worked out” client. 🥲
This one is tricky. Sometimes people really have had bad experiences. But if they list all their ex-VAs with blame and zero reflection, pause.

🚩 They badmouth past service providers.
🚩 They don’t take accountability for what went wrong.
🚩 They expect you to fix the mess immediately—without clear onboarding or expectations.

Why this is a problem:
Chances are, they weren’t clear, communicative, or organized with those VAs either. If you step in, you’ll inherit their chaos and unrealistic expectations. Plus, if they burned five other people, what’s stopping them from torching you next?

Better Match move:
Ask: “What worked and what didn’t with your past assistants? What would make this collaboration different?”

Their answer will tell you everything.

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Red Flag #4: No Respect for Your Boundaries (or Business)

From messaging at all hours to haggling on your rates, these clients forget—or ignore—that you run a business, not a 24/7 hotline.

🚩 They ask for your WhatsApp number immediately.
🚩 They ghost on scheduled calls or cancel last-minute without apology.
🚩 They want to “pick your brain” before signing a contract.
🚩 They ask for discounts in the first conversation.

Why this is a problem:
These behaviors usually escalate. Today it’s “Can you just hop on a quick call?” Tomorrow it’s “I need this by tonight,” even if it’s Sunday.

Better Match move:
Have boundaries baked into your process. I include mine in:

• My welcome packet

• My proposal

• My email footer

• My contract

Then, I reinforce them casually but clearly:

“For all communication, I use email and Trello so we stay organized. Let me know if you’d like access to your workspace!”

If they insist on WhatsApp voice notes and midnight brainstorming? We’re not a match. And that’s okay.

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Red Flag #5: “Can You Do This One Thing First… For Free?”

The classic “test task” or “small favor” before signing the contract. I get it. People want to make sure you’re legit. But asking for unpaid labor is a 🚨 giant red flag 🚨—especially when it’s disguised as a “quick test” or “see how we work together.”

🚩 “Can you just create one post to see your style?”
🚩 “Let’s do a trial week before we sign.”
🚩 “Can you fix this small thing on my site first?”

Why this is a problem:
They’re not respecting your time or expertise. You wouldn’t walk into a bakery, ask for a slice of cake, and then decide whether to buy a full one. Same goes here.

Better Match move:
Redirect with clarity:

“I’d love to show you how I work! I offer a one-time strategy session at €X, which includes [deliverable]. That way, we both get a feel for the process.”

If they walk away? You dodged a bullet.

What to Do When You Spot a Red Flag

You have options. Lots of them.

1. Ask clarifying questions.

Sometimes what feels like a red flag is just a communication gap. Ask follow-ups to get a clearer picture.

2. Set clear expectations upfront.

Sometimes red flags fade when boundaries are clear from day one.

3. Walk away.

You can do this kindly and professionally:

“Thank you for considering me! Based on your current needs, I may not be the best fit—but I’d be happy to refer you to someone else.”

Don’t be afraid to pass. Saying no now saves so much stress later.

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Final Thoughts

Saying yes to the wrong client is expensive. It costs more than time—it costs you peace of mind, confidence, and energy you could’ve used on aligned clients (the ones who get you).

By learning to spot red flags early, you’ll create space for:
✅ Clients who value your work
✅ Projects that light you up
✅ Boundaries that protect your freedom

And trust me—those dreamy clients? They’re out there.
But they can’t find you if you’re buried under unpaid test tasks and last-minute logo redesigns from someone who doesn’t know your name.

Stay picky. Stay powerful. You’re building a business that works for you, not just the other way around.

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Bonus: Trust Your Gut (Yes, Really)

Sometimes the client says all the right things, but something still feels… off. Maybe the tone of their messages is pushy. Maybe their email gave you a weird vibe. Maybe your energy dips every time you open their Trello board.

That’s not a coincidence.
Your intuition is one of your strongest business tools. Don’t ignore it.